Tech rant of a kind

I hate the built in obsolescence of modern technology. I teach J not to waste things, and that we like old things (the refrain to most of our conversations is "is it old, mummy"), so I really resent having to buy a new £150 printer (which used to be £300) because the paper feeder is broken and it will cost more to repair than replace. Bad for the planet, bad for me.

We all scream for ice cream

So there's an ice cream van going down the street, and the last few days, when J asks what it is, I say, "I don't know." Just now, in the bath, he heard it again, and D and I did the whole "it's just a van playing music, it's a music van." When I left the bathroom, he said to D "daddy, is it an ice-cream music van?" Oh well, no point hiding...

Small pieces...

My inner (OK, not very hidden) control freak finds it really distressing when small parts of games and toys are spread around the house as part of a different (very imaginative) game, never to be seen again. Who ever gets to fill a whole Connect 4 grid, anyway, right?

Customer service (again)

When someone in a call centre says in their specially trained relaxing voice "do you mind holding the line for me for two seconds?" you know that (a) it won't be two seconds and (b) it won't be good.
Time on hold at Tesco call centre, waiting for info on late delivery: 15 minutes (two calls)

When I grow up...

"When I grow up, mummy, I will still be me but I will be taller like a grown up and have a different face." What kind of different face? "I will look like a brother, mummy." (we are very interested in brothers in our household, I suspect because J doesn't have any (real ones)).

Too much social media?

Do you ever find that you're looking into a company, and all you can find is their twitter / facebook / pinterest / founders' LinkedIn profile / google+ / flickr? All I want is a good old fashioned website that tells me what the proposition is. gah.

Bad behaviour?

Now Phartee has oddly morphed into a tiny red rubber calf (which is a baby cow, mummy) that Shoshie in nursery gave him because she loves him. We had a long conversation about whether she really did give it to him, as we can't take things that aren't ours. Despite the "no bringing toys to nursery" rule (which I wholeheartedly support) they seem to have given him one and now it's variously a calf, Phartee, his brother. Huge melt down just now where he insists that the only place Phartee/calf/brother can sleep is in his bed, and we got stuck in a "we made a policy decision, we can't stand down now" scenario. I found it incredibly difficult not to laugh. We suggested swaddling him in Igglepiggle's red (matching) blanket, but Josh was very insistent that Phartee only wanted to be with him. Eventually, after consulting ACAS, we have agreed that *we* will look after small calf/Phartee/brother all night and he can have him back in the morning. Sheesh. Also, there are two Darths, mummy, did you know?

Lawn stories

As far as I can tell, all the birds in London have now heard on the bird-grapevine that there's a great fress-up at ours. Birds 1, lawn 0.

True blue

Small child tells me he has been blue all day (it is his new thing). Also, when doing the bedtime shema (prayer), he tells me that hashem (G-d) is also blue. As well as being invisible and in the playroom. Who knew. In other news, I have attempted to reseed the garden lawn, which basically means it's like Starbucks for birds. This morning when I got up there were like 8 birds having a lovely breakfast. All advice gratefully received.

Brothers

It is the Lag B'Omer teddy bears' picnic in nursery, and everyone is supposed to bring a teddy bear. J would like to take his "new" brother, Bingo, who is a plastic-sucker bath toy he's actually had since he was born but seems to have rediscovered yesterday. I have explained he's not a teddy bear. J doesn't care. We are still not laughing at Phartee. I had resorted to saying I'm a happy mummy, and I'm always laughing anyway (he doesn't buy this).

Brothers again

Small child has a new (imaginary) friend Farty. Possibly Fartie. This has caused much merriment in our house, especially as I can't stop laughing, and small child is going round saying "don't laugh at my friend, you are hurting his feelings." You reap what you sow, eh? Night night, sleep tight, don't let the bed frogs bite.